Tuesday, April 7, 2009


In college, if either Burch (far right, goatee, funny hat) or I had a dream that we remembered into breakfast time the next morning, we made sure to tell each other so there was some kind of record of it. So it was with great pleasure that I read the following email from my good friend, recounting a Badger-related dream.

This will probably only be enjoyable to those of you who know the parties involved ... then again, that's like half my readership!

Hey dudes,

I had to get this dream down on paper and share it with you guys. In the dream, the 3 of us are watching the Badgers play in the NIT championship game. We're sitting in the front row, but the game is being played in a high school gym-like setting. Fast-forward to the final minute of the game: the Badgers are down by one (can't remember who they are playing) and we're seriously nervous. A Badger player is fouled and goes to the line. As the 3 of us discuss end of the game strategies, I glance over at the player on the line and it's Schwalbach. He's wearing his old Badger middle school uniform. So as we discuss strategy, the elder Schwalbach (sitting next to us) is critiquing the younger Schwalbach at the free throw line. Here's a vivid version of the exchange:

Tappa: "I'm nervous. Schwalbach has problems with his hands."
Schwalbach: "I have carpal tunnel syndrome, so free throws are not my strong suit."
[Young Schwalbach shoots free throw. Picture two clenched fists held together with a basketball balancing on them -- that's his form. He does this odd-looking push shot that makes it halfway to the basket and rolls out-of-bounds (similar to Koebel's pathetic free throw attempt captured on video during the St. John's tourney). The second shot is a line drive that hits the bottom of the rim and goes straight down, again landing out-of-bounds. Badger fans let out a collective groan.]

Burch: "Gosh I feel sorry for him".
Schwalbach: "Me too".
Tappa: (face buried in his hands, he's irate) "God! Come on Schwalbach!"

The Badgers eventually go on to win the game and we storm the court, moshing with the rest of the team as "Jump Around" blares over the PA system (strangely it's only us celebrating with the team -- no one else stormed the court).

Reflecting on the dream, in particular Schwalbach's shooting style/horrible FT attempts and Tappa's reaction to the mildly-handicapped younger Schwalbach, still have me laughing and it's almost 3 in the afternoon.

Hope all is well with you guys .... NIT champs baby!


Several thoughts:

-If you've never seen "Koebel's pathetic free throw attempt" referenced by Burch, please try to. We're in eighth grade playing in a tournament in a typical middle school gym, and John Koebel, aka Chez Whitey, shoots a free throw so horrible it goes about 5-6 feet right of the rim and out the door, into the hallway! Has to be seen to be believed.

-I've seen Schwalbach shoot free throws before, using a clenched-fist style might be an improvement.

-On the flag football field, Schwib's hands were his strong suit. Unfortunately, as a lineman, he was prohibited from using them aside from the sneak point-after attempt.

-Another way this dream was not grounded in reality -- the Badgers don't play in the NIT anymore.


Scott said...

This post is a perfect set-up for a half-dozen "Schwalbach's hands are his strong suit" jokes, but I'll refrain (at least for now). More post-dream thoughts:

-Whoever has a copy of that St. John's tourney tape of Chez needs to somehow get it on YouTube.

-Tappa, was that photo of us taken at the Arizona-Wisconsin game back in 2004 (i.e., the day of the greatest change in weather I've ever experienced -- from 90 degrees and sunny in the 1st half to torrential rains and mid 50s in the 2nd?)

-Forgot to add that Tappa's face was ultra shiny and red. Picture T's face after a few beers, but embellished to the point of where he looks like a jolly red-faced garden gnome.

Perhaps I should lay off the acid prior to bedtime...

Scott Tappa said...

Yes, that was from the Arizona game, prior to the monsoon.

Toohey said...

Excellent recap, Taps. Burch has always had a very "detailed" imagination, whether it be dreams or promotions for his Earl Weaver baseball home games.

Matt said...

Wow, a dig on my free-throw shooting Taps? Really? Don't you actually have to get into a game for the opportunity to possibly get to the line?

Everyone: Please bring as many "Schwalbach's hands are his strong suit" jokes as you can. I'm willing to bear the brunt for a few laughs.

Craig said...

Where was the part of the dream where Hill got the technical?

Scott said...

It's funny you said that Pintens. As I wrote the e-mail to T, I kept thinking to myself that a whiney Hill begging for a foul or a post-game sobbing Hill following an embarrassing loss to the lowly HA Royals would have complimented Schwalbach in this dream nicely. Perhaps Wisconsin was playing Indiana?

Scott said...

By the way T, thanks for the shout-out to VH in the title! It didn't go unnoticed!

Scott Tappa said...

Hey B, you gave me the post, it's the least I could do.

Jeff said...

In regards to the picture, where's Greg? Is he still in someone else's hotel room?

Scott said...

I bet Greg wishes that was a dream... that is an entirely different post.

Unknown hotel guest: Who are you?
Greg: I'm Burch!

We were seriously about ready to file a missing person's report.